We are in the last few days before Christmas. The tree is up. The food has been ordered. The presents are hidden in wardrobes and under beds. Now it’s all about surviving the hype until the big day. When you have children who have been driven into a frenzy of excitement the run up towards Christmas can be a stressful couple of weeks. Perhaps some of these thoughts resonate.
1. Elf On A Shelf
Oh, my God, there’s still 10 days to go for the Elf on a Shelf. Why on earth did I think this would be a fun thing to do. I’ve had to clean up icing sugar thrown on the floor that the “elf” used to create snow. The fake glasses and moustache I drew on my face because I thought that would be a funny thing for the elf to do is STILL showing three days later and I have an important meeting tomorrow. Why does it have to be so complicated? It’s called “Elf on a Shelf” not “Elf Duct-Taped to the Wall in a Hilarious Prank That Will See Your Paintwork Peel Off”.
2. Christmas In School
So far I have spent around £10 on baking ingredients to create items for the school Christmas fair, £2 per person on entry into the school Christmas fair, and £5 to buy back the items we baked at my child’s insistence. Plus, we spent another £6 on various games at the Christmas fair where we won a tin of tuna and a wash bag set that looks like it came straight out of 1993. This week, it’s the school disco which will be another £3 for tickets and £1 for snacks.
It’s also the nativity play this week and I have spent £5 on a white t-shirt for my child’s costume since he doesn’t already own a white t-shirt (because what parent would ever dress a six year old boy in white; that’s just inviting disaster). Next week it’s Christmas jumper day and last year’s jumper doesn’t fit so that’s another £15 and now Sue on the PTA wants £5 for Christmas presents for the teachers. Not sure I have any money left to spend on presents for the kids.
3. The Tree
Putting up a Christmas tree is supposed to be a magical family event, isn’t it? It doesn’t feel like that. I have cut my hand on a broken bauble that one of the children threw and now I’m having to Google how to remove blood from a tree. The kids are arguing over who gets to hang every single decoration and the sodding thing has fallen over three times.
Meanwhile, my husband is in a strop because I put the lights on before the decorations and according to the Christmas Tree Rules the lights are meant to go on after the decorations. Think I’ll go low key next year and just decorate a stick. Will tell the kids it’s a magical invisible tree or something.
4. Santa Is Watching
My son just told me that he would be pleased if he gets a lump of coal for Christmas because that’s where diamonds come from and he could sell the diamond and buy the biggest Lego set in the world. I need to find another threat. Is it too soon to start talking about the Easter Bunny?
5. Christmas Presents
My children seem to think that Santa is a multi-millionaire. Not sure how I can convince them that Santa can only purchase items that are less than £100 and Prime eligible. And which Mum started the trend of buying gifts for all the kids in the NCT group? Now they all have siblings I’m having to find 15 unique and thoughtful gifts and try and remember all of their names in the process.
Thank goodness I started shopping in July. Now I just need to remember where I hid it all. I have searched the attic, the cupboard under the stairs and the wardrobe and I am certain that there are at least three gifts missing. Next year I’m going abroad for the entire month of December.
