{"id":2513,"date":"2019-08-18T19:18:55","date_gmt":"2019-08-18T19:18:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/?p=2513"},"modified":"2023-09-14T14:55:23","modified_gmt":"2023-09-14T14:55:23","slug":"11-things-only-parents-say-during-the-school-summer-holidays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/11-things-only-parents-say-during-the-school-summer-holidays\/","title":{"rendered":"11 Things Only Parents Say During The School Summer Holidays"},"content":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a long six weeks when the kids are off school. We might have had ideas about fun days at the beach and special family bonding time, but now we\u2019re running out of money (and snacks), and we\u2019ve negotiated so many peace treaties between siblings we\u2019re probably due a Nobel prize. Starting to lose your cool? Made yourself a countdown calendar for the start of term? Maybe you\u2019ve found yourself muttering some of these sentences under your breath whilst internally counting to ten\u2026<\/p>\n

1. \u201cSo, when do I get to have a holiday?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"family<\/p>\n

You travelled a few hundred miles to a holiday apartment in the Med for the big family holiday, only to spend most of the time making up snacks, breaking up sibling fights, yelling at your kids to put their shoes on, and cleaning up poop. You could have stayed at home to do the same thing, and at least there you wouldn\u2019t have everything covered in sand.<\/p>\n

2. \u201cThat\u2019s it, I\u2019m going to stop feeding you.\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"Child<\/p>\n

All that extra vitamin D from the sun has caused your child to have a huge growth spurt. Now all the new school uniform and school shoes you bought at the start of the summer no longer fit and you have to take it all back and start again.<\/p>\n

3. \u201cOK, just fight nicely!\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

Your children have had so many arguments over the summer holidays that you now only interpret their squabbles as background noise to be ignored. Occasionally you might have to intervene if it looks like one might be seriously injured, but otherwise it\u2019s a mini version of the Hunger Games in your house.<\/p>\n

4. \u201cWhy Is There Sand In My Bed?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"little<\/p>\n

Can you even really call it the school summer holidays if your child hasn\u2019t spent at least one day getting covered head to toe in sand and needing a hose pipe to remove it all?<\/p>\n

5. \u201cNo, I really don\u2019t want to watch you practise another Fortnite move.\u201d<\/h2>\n
\"Boy

Veja \/ Bigstockphoto.com<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cHow can it possibly be your favourite game? You\u2019re not even allowed to play Fortnite, you\u2019re just copying something your friend\u2019s elder brother taught you at school. No, I\u2019m not downloading it for you. I don\u2019t care if Luke says he plays it. He\u2019s lying, I asked his Mum. Seriously, for 1000th time the answer is no!\u201d<\/p>\n

6. \u201cReally? The best part of your holiday was finding a toy car abandoned in the park?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

\u201cBut I took you to the beach, on a steam train ride, to the cinema, to a castle, on a boat ride, to a lake, to a science show, and three different soft play centres. It cost me a fortune, and you\u2019re telling me all I needed to do was spend \u00a35 in Asda on some Hot Wheels and hide them in the park?\u201d<\/p>\n

7. \u201cI think we might need to reign in the ice cream a little bit.\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"Little<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not just the kids who are getting a little tubby, it\u2019s you as well. Actually it\u2019s just you, but you want the temptation completely removed.<\/p>\n

8. \u201cIs 8 hours of screen time really THAT bad?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"Two<\/p>\n

At the start of the summer holidays you were pretty strict in sticking to a two hour limit, but now the holidays are nearing the end and you\u2019ve run out of craft ideas (or just can\u2019t be bothered anymore) so you tend to throw the tablet in your child\u2019s general direction as soon as they wake up and leave them to it.<\/p>\n

9. \u201cOh, my God, where did all my money go?\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"Red<\/p>\n

You carefully saved up money for the long summer break and were generally feeling pretty positive about your budget. But then you spent \u00a37 on soft play entry here, \u00a33 on ice cream there, \u00a34 on parking fees here, \u00a35 on a novelty item from the gift shop just so you could leave without an argument there. It all adds up. Throw in a couple of days at theme park, a boat load more ice cream, and \u00a350 on craft activities (thanks British summer) and suddenly your healthy August is in a critical condition. You start Googling what age your child can legitimately get a paper-round.<\/p>\n

10. \u201cAlexa really needs a \u2018please ignore everything my child says’ setting.\u201d<\/h2>\n
\"Amazon

tanaonte \/ Bigstockphoto.com<\/p><\/div>\n

Because if you have to listen George Ezra\u2019s Shotgun<\/em> one more time you might resort to using one yourself. Seriously, Amazon and Google are missing an amazing marketing opportunity with that one.<\/p>\n

11. \u201cI\u2019m sure it never used to be this hard to entertain you.\u201d<\/h2>\n

\"young<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re a typical UK mum then you spent the first nine to twelve months of your child\u2019s life on maternity leave, which meant that you spent almost all of your time every day with your child. Now you\u2019re only responsible for them all day for a few weeks and it seems like so much hard work. Of course, when they were a baby they didn\u2019t answer back, they were easily entertained by jangling some keys in front of them, and they certainly didn\u2019t try and whack their sibling every time you looked away.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s a long six weeks when the kids are off school. We might have had ideas about fun days at the beach and special family bonding time, but now we\u2019re running out of money (and snacks), and we\u2019ve negotiated so many peace treaties between siblings we\u2019re probably due a Nobel prize. Starting to lose your cool? Made yourself a countdown calendar for the start of term? Maybe you\u2019ve found yourself muttering some of these sentences under your breath whilst internally counting to ten\u2026 1. \u201cSo, when do I get to have a holiday?\u201d You travelled a few hundred miles to <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2516,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2513"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2526,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2513\/revisions\/2526"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2516"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2513"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2513"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2513"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}