{"id":437,"date":"2015-09-08T09:37:36","date_gmt":"2015-09-08T09:37:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/?p=437"},"modified":"2023-09-18T15:58:00","modified_gmt":"2023-09-18T15:58:00","slug":"to-all-the-mums-who-had-the-best-intentions-your-child-will-be-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/to-all-the-mums-who-had-the-best-intentions-your-child-will-be-fine\/","title":{"rendered":"To All The Mums Who Had The Best Intentions: Your Child Will Be Fine"},"content":{"rendered":"

Breast Intentions<\/h2>\n

\"Happy<\/p>\n

Before my son was born, I had a lot of intentions. Firstly, I was going to breastfeed. I read about it, understood the benefits, and couldn\u2019t understand why so many women chose not to, or gave up. It was illogical to me. After all, breastmilk is free, no preparation or extra equipment is required, and it\u2019s easy. Right? I went to a breastfeeding class. The midwife told us about all the benefits and the best feeding positions. I remember saying to her at the end as I thanked her that I thought it would be easy. She just smiled at me.<\/p>\n

Not only would I breastfeed, but I would do so exclusively until my son was six months old, as per NHS guidelines, and he wouldn\u2019t have anything else to eat before that point. After that he would only be given home-made meals with lots of vegetables and fruit, no pre-made sauces or packets, and certainly no junk food.<\/p>\n

My son wasn\u2019t going to be allowed to watch TV until he was much older. Instead, we would take walks together every day, do craft activities, and read stories. I certainly wasn\u2019t going to the type of parent who hands their toddler a smartphone in a caf\u00e9 to keep him or her quiet.<\/p>\n

Furthermore, I determined that my son would never have a temper tantrum in public. He would be too well behaved and I would set his boundaries early on using the naughty step and toy confiscation. I would show other parents that you don\u2019t need to scream at a child to get them to behave.<\/p>\n

Reality Bites<\/h2>\n

\"Little<\/p>\n

Reader, if you have made it through this article so far without wanting to shake my pre-child self, I salute you. I had so many good (and sanctimonious) intentions. And, then my little angel arrived \u2013 a bundle of flailing limbs and huge blue eyes. The first 48 hours were a chaotic blur of nursing, visitors, and very little sleep. Slowly, as the days, weeks, months, and first years crept by, my intentions crept out with them.<\/p>\n

Breastfeeding lasted about six weeks, although I\u2019d been supplementing with formula for about four weeks before that. My son was ravenous, and comfort ate for reflux. I simply couldn\u2019t keep up with him. I began to resent him for wanting to be permanently attached to me and it affected my relationship with him, so I chose to stop. I felt tremendous guilt. But, the world didn\u2019t end, he didn\u2019t catch a horrible disease, and both of us seemed happier.<\/p>\n

I weened my son at four months. He started reaching for my food at 13 weeks. I held off, determined I wouldn\u2019t fail on this issue, but his appetite was insatiable and with everyone around me telling me to \u201cjust give him some food, look how hungry he is,\u201d I gave in. He loved every spoonful and wanted more. He hasn\u2019t developed any digestive problems. Like every other child in the UK he also has occasional sweets, chocolate, crisps, pizza, even the odd Chinese takeaway. Yet for the most part he eats healthily and doesn\u2019t have any allergies. He\u2019s doing just fine.<\/p>\n

Needless to say, he also watches a lot of TV, especially first thing in the morning when his Dad and I really don\u2019t want to get up at 5.30am and he is bouncing up and down on our bed asking to do something. We use an iPad to keep him entertained on long journeys, in waiting rooms, or at restaurants. It hasn\u2019t caused him any delay in understanding or speech impediment. If anything, he\u2019s advanced for his age. And, of course, he has had temper tantrums in public. I\u2019ve been the embarrassed mother dragging a screaming, writhing toddler out of a supermarket. It didn\u2019t do any lasting damage. He\u2019s still fairly well behaved and showing no signs of becoming a teenage delinquent just yet. I think we\u2019ll be OK.<\/p>\n

Your Child Will Be Fine<\/h2>\n

\"girl<\/p>\n

So, to all the mothers reading this who had the best intentions, but for whatever reason, didn\u2019t manage to keep them, I want to say that it\u2019s OK. You don\u2019t need to feel guilty. Like my son, your child will be fine.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s ok to give your child a bottle of formula because breastfeeding either didn\u2019t work, couldn\u2019t work, or you simply didn\u2019t want to. Your child will be fine.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s ok if you don\u2019t feed your child home-cooked organic meals every day. Some days just putting a pizza in the oven can feel like a marathon effort. You\u2019ve been sleep deprived for years and you don\u2019t have to be a domestic goddess. Your child will be fine.<\/p>\n

It’s ok if your child watches television whilst you catch up on housework or simply enjoy a cup of tea. You need time for yourself every now and again. Your child will be fine.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s ok if your child has a screaming fit in the middle of ASDA. I won\u2019t judge you. Instead I\u2019ll feel a mixture of sympathy and relief that it isn\u2019t my child this time. It\u2019s ok if you raise your voice in frustration every once in a while. It\u2019s human and your child will be fine.<\/p>\n

It’s ok if you didn\u2019t meet your best intentions for your child. You have nothing to feel guilty for and you are not a failure, because you are doing your very best. Your child will be just fine.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Breast Intentions Before my son was born, I had a lot of intentions. Firstly, I was going to breastfeed. I read about it, understood the benefits, and couldn\u2019t understand why so many women chose not to, or gave up. It was illogical to me. After all, breastmilk is free, no preparation or extra equipment is required, and it\u2019s easy. Right? I went to a breastfeeding class. The midwife told us about all the benefits and the best feeding positions. I remember saying to her at the end as I thanked her that I thought it would be easy. She just <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":441,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=437"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3211,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/437\/revisions\/3211"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/441"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=437"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=437"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.mumblog.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=437"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}