August is nearly over. You might have had a glorious time #MakingMemories but let’s be honest, kids are hard work and we all need a break every now and again. Six weeks is a long time to keep little minds amused, and you might be feeling a little of the summer holiday burnout as you run out of ideas (and money) for things to fill the days. Of course, there’s always that one Mum who claims that she just loves spending every moment with her precious angels, but the rest of us are counting down the days till term begins.
1. The Kids Have Had A Huge Growth Spurt
You smugly purchased all their uniform back in July, and a new pair of school shoes that broke the bank. Unfortunately, you now realise that none of it fits because all that vitamin D your children have had over the summer holidays has led to them going up a size or two. Even worse, since everyone else also bought their uniforms in July, the shops have run out of most of their stock.
2. You Have Had A Growth Spurt
However, yours has been restricted to the midriff area only. All those trips to the ice cream van at the park, the picnics with all the goodies, the guilt-ridden McDonald’s on the way back from the days out, have all taken their toll on your stomach.
3. You Actually Rejoice When You Wake Up To Rain
Because you know you won’t have to spend half an hour wrestling with your child to get sun cream on them.
4. Your Screen Time Rules Have Long Been Discarded
Whilst you were previously of the “30 minutes a day only” mindset, you now take a more “relaxed” approach. That is, you relax with a cup of tea and the latest celebrity gossip accessed on your phone whilst the kids spend most of the day playing games on their tablets.
5. You Are Constantly Amazed At The Cost Of Things
A day trip to the zoo sounds like a lovely way to spend the time, until you realise that it costs around £100 for a family of four. Camping used to be a cheap and cheerful activity, but these days you can expect to pay £30 a night for what is essentially a tiny patch of grass with no sound-proofing. Plus, your grocery bill has doubled because your children are no longer being fed at school and apparently have the appetites of elephants.
6. You Are Seriously Running Low On Activity Ideas
You’ve tried just about every Pinterest inspired craft going (with mixed results), baked every flavour of cake, borrowed every book from your local library, and know every inch of your local park and soft play centre. You try and suggest to your children that they spend some time playing by themselves, but it lasts precisely 4 minutes and 35 seconds before they announce that they are bored and need something to do.
7. Your House Resembles A War Zone
It’s so much easier to keep on top of the housework when no one is ever in the house. Your living room has been transformed into an obstacle course with hidden Lego waiting to be stood on, and a sofa fort in the corner that you’ve been trying to sneakily take apart for the last week only to be met with vocal protests. The kitchen floor is covered in flour, sprinkles, glitter, and paint splatters from all the crafts you have been doing, and you’re not even brave enough to venture into your child’s bedroom.
8. You Have Already Started A Savings Fund For Next Year
Because next year you are determined that your child will be going to a holiday club at least three days a week. Plus, you will need extra cash to pay for the sodding zoo trip.
9. You Have The First Day Back At School Planned To Perfection
You have added name tags to all the new uniform. The PE kit is packed and is hanging by the door along with the book bag. You have already programmed an alarm for waking up on the morning to ensure there is plenty of time to get to school, and you have your route planned out. You did most of this in week two of the holidays.
10. You Are Ridden With Guilt
Because you love your kids, even if they do whine incessantly. They are most precious to you. So, you feel bad about wanting them to return to school. On the other hand, you can’t wait to be able to poop in peace.